Inappropriate Christmas Music

Courtesy of Hughes Entertainment

I never realized my fondness for dirty Christmas music until I looked down and saw Lady Gaga's "Christmas Tree" playing on repeat on my iPod. In my defense, there is something heartwarming when she says the only place you want to be is underneath her Christmas tree.

"It's Christmas (And I Hate You)"

Here's a ballad by Paloma Faith and Josh Weller dedicated to all the couples who are feeling the Yule Tide fear.

"Be Your Santa Claus"

 If there's anything I love more than Keith Sweat's album cover for "A Christmas of Love", it's when he sings "I wanna be the first gift you open tonight" and "Now baby, take your time and wrap me slow." Also, how does the sound of bubbles popping in the background qualify as holiday music?

"Merry Ex-mas"

I have so many favorite song lyrics from this Mad TV skit. Here's a few:

"I'm crushed and drowned by the Yule Tide"

"While other people bake cookies and gingerbread/ The only thing I want to put in my oven is my head"

"You shattered my jingle bells"

"I sink nude in the corner just rocking"

"I pray to angels but angels are just people who are dead"

"Menopause is coming to town"

"You've left me so lonely and pissed"

"Jingle Bell Rock"

Of course I couldn't write this list without including the cheery Christmas dance from Mean Girls. It always renews my faith that Santa really does exist.