The Pants Problem

I have an issue with men's pants. I'm from California, where pants of choice for my male compadres is jeans, ripped or not ripped. Unfortunately when I was in junior high it wasn't the pants that bothered me so much as where they were resting, which was below the crotch. 

When the other girls urged me to tell them who I was crushing on, I looked at my options on the playground. Did I want my dashing classmate who struggled to run during recess because his pants were falling down or did I want the only kid who wore a belt- complete with a cowboy hat?

Luckily that trend is now out of style, and my options have expanded beyond wannabe ranch hands. 

When I moved to Switzerland I noticed a slight change in men's style. Aspiring bankers at my school took their pants as seriously as their CVs. They wouldn't be caught dead with their trousers sliding below their hips.

Men in England like their chinos. I see jeans here and there, but they have a certain look that I could pick out of a police lineup. Unlike the laid back, indifferent style back home, chinos come off as preppier and more... Put together? 

I don't mind chinos, but colored pants are sartorially offensive. My friend's ex-boyfriend came to a party once in ketchup-colored chinos that made my eyes bleed. If the only point of wearing colored pants is to draw attention to your creativity, paint me a picture.

Courtesy of theprepblog

Just... no.